Persona

Posted on April 17, 2018 by Jan C. Johnson

Lately I’ve been thinking about authenticity. See, I have this deep-seated need for approval, which often leads me to put up the appearance of being what I think people expect me to be. Never admit a weakness:

Now, I don’t try to impress everyone. But those people who share my core values? I want them to believe that I live out those values better than I actually do.

It’s easy to project an image, especially from behind a computer screen. I can highlight my good qualities and cloak my flaws like nobody’s business. But I go beyond wanting to appear “strong enough.” Any time I sense someone has a specific expectation of me, I want to live up to it.

Case in point: Before I went to Liberia with the BESTWA team, a few friends suggested that the trip would change my life. These folks have gone to foreign countries and local neighborhoods to tell people about Jesus. They have seen people trust in Christ, seen their faces light up with the joy of the Lord and the joy of receiving eternal life.

Mine wasn’t that kind of trip. This was more a check-on-things, deliver-donated-items, encourage-the-national-staff effort. Which I didn’t even expect to be involved with. My sole job, I thought, would be to work on a writing project for BESTWA.

Long story short (which I might share in a later post), for the first five days in country, I could never quite get down to the work I expected. Frustration rose as I worried that my trip was a waste of time.

The Lord helped me adjust my attitude and trust that my actual experience would contribute to the work better than if I’d experienced the scenario I imagined. (Something about God being smarter than people.)

Nice, but nothing that really rocked my world.

The problem is, when I returned and people asked me whether the trip was life-changing, I said “Yes” because… you guessed it… I thought that’s what they expected. So here I go again, trying to give the right answer.

It’s the same with emotions I think I’m supposed to experience. Sometimes, all I feel is detached from the deep sense of wonder or joy or sadness that affects others. That’s hard for me to admit, so I often default to pretending.

Which makes me a hypocrite.

Ouch! I need to cut that out right now and purpose to live authentically.

After all, “fake” is for the news… right?

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers

Posted on April 13, 2018 by Jan C. Johnson

I’ve heard about this book for years, and finally read it for our book club. Then I got detained out of state and missed the meeting, but it’s all good.

Anyway. This romance, set in gold-rush-era California, echoes the gnarly biblical story of Hosea and his marriage. The main character, Sarah, was rejected by her father as a young girl. Before she was ten, her mother abandoned her and a naive uncle accidentally sold her into sex slavery.

If you’re thinking romance is not gonna come easy to this girl, you’re right.

When a farmer named Michael sees Sarah walking in the city during a supply trip, God tells him to marry her. He has to pay and go into the brothel to even talk with her.

Romance isn’t gonna come easy to Micheal, either.

Though it takes place in the lawless Old West, this novel eerily reflects our current sex-trafficking crisis. It woke me up to watch out for any judgmental attitude about people caught in situations they didn’t ask for.

Redeeming Love is long and I thought it dragged a bit in a few places. But hang in there! It offers plenty of suspense–which makes it a Great Weekend Read.

Thanks for reading!
Jan
PS: You might need a long Weekend.

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The Power of Negativity

Posted on April 3, 2018 by Jan C. Johnson

Recently I studied Proverbs 18:21* and got to thinking…

Everyone knows that a positive attitude can bring positive changes, boost your success, and improve your relationships with colleagues, family, and friends. But do you realize that a negative attitude is just as powerful?

Mmm-hmm. Sure is.

This topic is especially relevant now, since our culture seems to be generating a huge supply of negativity. It just spews out willy-nilly. No one seems to give it a thought.

You might say our negativity is all stressed up with no place to go.

Let’s look at some of the powerful things negativity can accomplish!

1. Got almost-perfect weather? Try complaining about the one thing you’d like to adjust. Like, the temperature should be two degrees warmer (cooler), or you’d prefer a little more (less) wind. Your complaints can turn “almost perfect” into “lousy.”

2. Let’s say some stranger on the highway changes lanes in front of you, cutting it a bit close, but doesn’t so much as touch your car. You could take a breath and say, “No harm, no foul,” but where’s the satisfaction in that? You’d display much more power if you lean on your horn, shake your fist (or some variation thereof), and cuss out the offender. Congratulations! You’ve gone from ruining zero people’s day, to ruining your own and someone else’s. See how this increases your output? Sooo efficient.

3. Is your mate pretty dang wonderful, but has a few quirks or flaws? Why express appreciation for the good qualities and exercise patience with the shortcomings? Instead, you can grumble about every little thing. Not only does this crush your mate’s spirit, but at the same time you can set off a defensiveness showdown that makes both of you feel isolated!

As near as I can figure, living in ALL CAPS, ALL THE TIME makes a huge impact on your life. People will sit up and take notice of you, all righty. And that’s worth a little high blood pressure and a few broken relationships…… isn’t it?

Thanks for reading,
Jan

* “Death and life are in the power of the tongue. . . ” Proverbs 18:21, New American Standard Bible (NASB)

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Rainy Day Fun

Posted on March 30, 2018 by Jan C. Johnson

Ah, spring in Washington State. Majestic mountain views, blossoming trees, and heavily overcast skies putting forth a nearly nonstop drizzle. Oh, sure, sometimes the sun comes out. But by the time you can say, “It’s sunny! Let’s go for a walk,” find everyone’s shoes, and get jackets on, poof! the clouds are back.

I’ve been visiting my son and his family there. Aside from watching videos until their eyes glaze over, what are two active preschoolers to do on a rainy day?

I’m glad you asked.

Their mommy and I have a few tricks up our sleeves. Like hanging out at Barnes & Noble (I actually did buy a book!)

And making a batch of baking-soda dough, then fizzing it up with vinegar.

There’s the play area at the mall…

Writers gotta write!

Meanwhile, artists gotta, um, “art.”

Ah, a nice vacant sofa to sit on…

… or not!

I hope you’re having a sunny day, regardless of the weather.
Thanks for reading,
Jan

Posted in I Remember When... (my OWN stories) | 4 Comments

Send Me Packing

Posted on March 27, 2018 by Jan C. Johnson

As I maaaay have mentioned once or twice (or eighty times, but who’s counting?), I recently traveled with a group of friends to Liberia, West Africa. This carefully choreographed undertaking involved months of preparation and a packing list as long as my arm.

“Don’t overpack,” our leader Andy said, “but take everything you might need because lots of things aren’t available where we’re going.” For instance, we took toilet paper to use during our stay at the BESTWA headquarters. More seriously, each participant had to get a prescription and bring a full course of antibiotics. That way if any of us got sick or an injury became infected, we wouldn’t die.

Andy also advised keeping a change of clothes and other essentials in our carryons, just in case of lost or delayed luggage. We put photocopies of our passports in every piece of luggage and split the donated supplies we were bringing for the BESTWA staff between two or more bags.

Without quite realizing it, I was operating in crisis mode.

Two weeks after our return, I packed for a trip to visit our son and his family in the Olympia, Washington area.

In my efforts to streamline, I wanted to bring only my laptop bag as a carryon. The bag has extra room because I now use a tablet as my travel “computer,” but I nearly went crazy trying to fit in my retainers, my prescription, spare clothes, emergency this and essential that…

Then it dawned on me that I’d never been this stressed over previous trips to Washington.

(Ponders why…)

“Hey Brent,” I said to my longsuffering husband, “the airlines never lose our luggage, do they?”

“Nope.”

“And even if they did, I could pick up a few things at Target, couldn’t I?”

“Sure.”

“Oh.” (Starts pulling non-flight-required items from bag, stowing them in a Ziplock, and stashing it in the suitcase.)

“You’ll be fine,” Brent assured me.

And that’s how Brent helped me stop freaking out over a simple domestic flight.

Your turn: Do you ever overthink a routine event? Succumb to crisis mentality? Make things way harder than they need to be? I’d love to hear about it! You’re welcome to comment in the “Leave a Reply” box below.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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Liberia Report: From War to Peace

Posted on March 23, 2018 by Jan C. Johnson

Chillin’ at the Peace Cafe

 

Benjamin Somah walked into Monrovia’s Peace Cafe, where our freshly arrived team sat with a few local contacts, enjoying some coffee and Internet time. Our friends knew this local craftsman, so we checked out his artwork.

 

We already knew that Liberia’s fourteen-year civil war had deeply wounded the nation, affecting every area of life. Among the general population, the PTSD rate is estimated at 70 percent. When Benjamin showed us the fistful of empty rifle shells he pulled from his pocket, I wondered just how emotionally scarred he might be.

From war…..

But then he opened his backpack to show us what he does with these shells. Traditional Liberian figures, crosses, Nativity pieces, and even a chess set–Benjamin had redeemed the grim reminders of war, turning them into artistic symbols of peace.

…. to peace

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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