Bittersweet

Posted on September 6, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

For the past couple of weeks, while being distracted by Hurricane Harvey — all our Houston & Gulf Coast relatives are fine, thank the Lord, and with hardly any property damage — I also had our little dog‘s sudden decline in health to deal with.

Poor Tipper hadn’t been eating much, and had lost 30 percent of her body weight since March. She couldn’t pee, except by accident, and her back legs didn’t seem to work quite right.

Just in the last two days, her back legs stiffened. When she tried to get up from her doggie bed, I’d have to pick up her rear end and put her feet under her. Then she’d go try to pee in the grass, and I’d find her sitting on her tail, back end collapsed. Meanwhile, she was eating only about two bites of food per day, even though I was giving her the good stuff — finely chopped wet food, which is like the chocolate of the dog world.

No dog should have to live like that. So I took her to the vet yesterday and came home alone. My heart is too heavy for my usual shenanigans. But I’m thankful she was calm and seemed content as she slipped away.

Good dog, Tipper.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

Tipper in her prime

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Know Yer Terms!

Posted on September 4, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

Y’all, I’m such a doofus…

I’m taking an online novel writing course offered by Jerry B. Jenkins. The video lessons are benefiting me, and so is the online community of fellow students. We can toss a question out there, or a sample paragraph, and get helpful feedback and encouragement from classmates.

So, a discussion arose about some writing tool I’m not familiar with. I didn’t really pay attention, but couldn’t help noticing a comment from an experienced user… something about a “help” icon in the form of a man wearing a “phrenology helmet.”

Hmmm. I knew “phrenology” had something to do with medicine… relating to the kidneys… right?

But… phrenology helmet?

Kidneys got helmets??

Image credit: InkwellHelmets.com

I was about to ask that question in the comments, but decided to Google “phrenology helmet” first…

Good thing I did, since this bad boy is what I found:

Yeah, phrenology has to do with the location of the various brain functions. In the 19th century, it was thought that you could tell how strong a particular faculty was based on the shape of the person’s skull over the part of the brain that held that faculty.

I’ve learned my lesson: Don’t jump into a discussion based on your own half-baked recollection.

My advice? Don’t be a doofus. Look it up.

Know yer terms!

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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Mother of Pearl, by Kellie Coates Gilbert

Posted on September 1, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

Image credit: Amazon.com

Barrie Graeber is called out of a high school faculty meeting and given the horrible news: her teenage daughter, Pearl, has been killed in a one-car accident.

For a parent, it cannot get any worse than that, right?

Wrong.

It is worse.

Reeling from the bits and pieces she learns, Barrie pursues justice.

“Drop it,” everyone says. “It won’t make any difference now. And think of Pearl’s reputation.”

But Barrie determines she will not give up until she uncovers every secret surrounding that night.

This Great Weekend Read is a tragic, poignant, disturbing, and supremely important story. Kellie Coates Gilbert nails it.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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Mom’s Bowl

Posted on August 30, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

Looking for something to toss a salad in, I pulled the middle Corningware mixing bowl from a set in the cabinet. The set belonged to my mother.

Later, I washed the bowl and turned it up in the dish rack.

The sadness hits at the oddest moments and for the most unexpected reasons. This time, it was seeing the piece of masking tape bearing Mom’s name, written years ago when she still cooked and took things to potlucks, and her handwriting was firm and just a little bit jaunty.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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Faux-tatoes and Other Impostors

Posted on August 28, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

As I’ve mentioned before, I am not a food blogger. But this time I can’t keep my opinions to myself.

In our quest for the ideal, healthy diet, there’s a lot of experimenting going on in our kitchen. Of particular concern is this idea of cutting back on grains and other carbohydrate-dense foods.

Sadly, the main non-grain carb to be shunned is the always-delicious white potato. The kind that is so wonderful baked or mashed, with plenty of butter and sour cream.

Seriously, the milk just drains right down into the bottom of the bowl.


I’m sure you’ve heard of substituting mashed cooked cauliflower for mashed potatoes. You can, in fact, cook cauliflower florets until tender and mash them with butter and milk. The resulting gloop is similar in color to mashed potatoes.

The resemblance ends there.

Cauliflower is a fibrous, high-water-content vegetable that smells like cabbage.

Mashed cauliflower is a fibrous, watery gloop that smells like cabbage.

In other words, when mashed, cauliflower does not magically transform into potatoes’ identical twin. Even with pepper and a pat of butter on top.

Real cheese,
fake crust

Another cauliflower idea was to make grain-free pizza crust out of it. Ohh-kay… I found a recipe online and made a small trial crust, adding eggs, spices, and two kinds of cheese to the main ingredient. You bake the crust first on parchment paper, then top as usual and bake the whole pizza.

Result? A functional-but-soft crust that smelled like cabbage. It didn’t resemble bread so much as it did a frittata.

As near as I can figure, the key to these substitutions is to adjust your expectations. As it happens, I like cauliflower, so the mashed stuff doesn’t have to be potato-y for me to like it. I’d probably skip the gravy, though. As for the pizza, I also like frittatas, even if they smell like cabbage, so a thin frittata topped with sauce, mozzarella, and pepperoni suits me just fine.

It just doesn’t fool me.

On a completely unrelated note….. does anyone know how to get rid of the smell of cabbage in the kitchen?

Bon appétit!

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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Dancing Shoes, by Lynne Gentry

Posted on August 25, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

Now that Leona Harper is no longer “The Pastor’s Wife,” just who is she?

The third in Lynne Gentry‘s “Mt. Hope Southern Adventures” series, this story follows recently-widowed Leona as she rises from the ashes of grief, so to speak, and begins to find her own identity.

Moving out of the parsonage, now occupied by her son and daughter-in-law, is only a first small step. Where will Leona’s dancing shoes take her? Will they guide her steps to a happy future?

Gentry’s characters sparkle. Each one could walk right off the page, sit down in your kitchen, and have coffee with you.

I stayed up late reading this book, as I did the first two in the series. I think you’ll also enjoy this Great Weekend Read.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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