It’s Not Me… It’s YOU! –Poll Results

Posted on August 9, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

I recently asked you to tell me what ads you see on my blog. My question was, does WordPress randomly assign ads, some of which might embarrass me to death…. or does each person see ads that reflect his/her browsing history?

Well, you can un-bate your breath now… I’m about to divulge the results of that informal poll, answering the question for each ad: User or Random?

Kayak Travel: 3+ sightings. Frequent and/or world travelers. Clearly user-oriented.

Restaurants: 2 people reporting multiple sightings. Everyone loves to eat, so that’s neutral.

Clothing catalog site: 1 sighting, by a customer of that site. User!

Quilting ads: multiple sightings by my Quiltapalooza friend. User!

Used vehicle dealer: 1 sighting. My guess is Random.

“Pam” cooking spray: 1 sighting. Unless the reader had been searching online to find out whether he could get a buzz from inhaling the spray, I’m calling this one Random.

 
Score: 5+ user-oriented ads, 2 probably random, 2 neutral so they don’t count.

There you have it: WordPress usually shows you ads based on your browsing history.

So, it’s not me… It’s YOU.

Oddly enough, though, when I logged out and opened this blog without signing in, here are the two ads I saw under a recent post:


Nothing to do with the post or with anything I’ve ever browsed.

Maybe the Randoms are catching up!

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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You Might NOT Be a Germ Freak …

Posted on August 7, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

I actually DO use this stuff. I’m not a cretin.
Extra points if you noticed the fake poison-dart frog in the corner.

It’s come to my attention recently that I have a rather casual relationship with germs. I mean, I take Airborne before flying anywhere, and I do use antibacterial soap in the kitchen… sometimes… when I’m handling raw meats and such. But I’m not on an all-out campaign to kill germs.

So let me ask you, are you a germ freak?

“How would I know if I am?”

I’m glad you asked. Well, actually I can’t answer that question, but I can share some telltale signs that you are not a germ freak.

Note: I can neither confirm nor deny that any / all of these apply to me.

You Might NOT Be a Germ Freak If…

… You’ve unhesitatingly rinsed poopy baby clothes in the toilet… with your bare hands.

… When you find the vitamin you dropped ten days ago on the floor of your car, you go ahead and take it… washing it down with the melted ice from Tuesday’s Whataburger drink cup.

… You have never refrigerated ketchup after opening.

… Hand sanitizer? P-f-f-f-f-f-t.

… It seldom occurs to you to wash your hands between petting the dog and eating a sandwich.

… You occasionally say something like “This stuff’s only three months past its freshness dating. Let’s see how it tastes.”

Come to think of it, that napkin looks pretty familiar, too.

… You realize you’ve been using the same disposable coffee stirrer since you got your mug warmer four and a half months ago. And you don’t need to do this because you have, like, 500 coffee stirrers.

I don’t mean to drive bona fide germ freaks crazy, but… as near as I can figure, that’s what our immune system is for, right?

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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We Have Lost the Pelicans, by Paul Mathews

Posted on August 4, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

Image credit: Amazon.com

I couldn’t help it… as soon as I finished We Have Lost the President and told you about it, I had to jump in and read the next book.

We Have Lost the Pelicans continues the story of London’s Howie Pond, the most reluctant secret agent ever, and his journalist wife, Britt. If anything, this second book is even wackier than the first, which is right up my alley.

Who on earth would steal the national pelicans right before they are needed for a presidential photo-op? No one is safe from the mysterious villian(s)… or from Mathews’ satire.

Hair-raising peril, multiple twists and turns, a temperamental robot, unlikely alliances, doughnuts and sausages (sooooo many sausages) … this book has it all.

No spoilers, but as you embark on this Great Weekend Read, remember that things are not always as they seem.

Thanks for reading!
Jan

Posted in Great Weekend Reads! | 1 Comment

Favorite Quotes

Posted on August 2, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

Last week, I told you about my journal, and promised to share some of my favorite quotes. So today I’ll open its pages and let greater minds than my own do the talking.

Why didn’t I think of this long ago?

Oh yeah… that “great mind” thing.

So, here goes a sampler…

On Life:

“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.” –John Whitehead

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” –Charles Dickens

“When we need to achieve, acquire, and accomplish things to find Life, the pressure often compromises our passion, creativity, and flexibility.” –Gregory Boyd

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” –Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“The only way to avoid the risk of rejection is to fail to live, dream, or dare.” –Dave South

On Writing:

“…it’s necessary to hold the concept of clarity as an even higher ideal than grammatical correctness…” –Francine Prose

“The greatest obstacle to communication is the illusion that it has been achieved.” –Marshall McLuhan

“Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.” –unknown

“… my notion of narrative informs my faith, and my notion of faith informs my idea of what writing is for.” –James Carroll

Descriptive Gems:

“The sound of a great name dies like an echo; the splendor of fame fades into nothing; but the grace of a fine spirit pervades the places through which it has passed, like the haunting loveliness of mignonette.” –James Thurber (Find more Thurber here)

And I can’t resist including this fun one:
“The Chinese… yak… is a lovely long-haired animal, like a cow on its way to the opera.”
–Paul Theraux
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed these thoughts along with me.

Your turn: Do you have a favorite quote about life or whatever? Share it in the “Leave a Reply” box below. It might be just the thing someone else needs to hear.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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39 And Counting…

Posted on July 31, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

Ha, you thought 39 was my age, didn’t you?

Oh…. you knew I was way older?

That obvious, huh?

Fine. I’ll get on with the post…

Yesterday was our 39th wedding anniversary. I thought it would be fun to reminisce with some wedding-related photos.

That hand looks a good deal older than it did when I first got my rings.

First, Brent and I shopped together for our rings. He “popped the question” some months later, on the Texas A&M campus. The gold and diamond represent his geology major. The flowers embossed on the bands (they’re on Brent’s band, too) represent my floriculture major. Oh–the ring on my pinky is my mother’s wedding ring, which I recently started wearing.

Then of course you have wedding invitations printed. We keep a framed copy on a table next to a photo from our reception.

At last the Big Day arrived. My dad walked me down the church aisle, over little tissue paper hearts that we fixed for the flower girl to scatter, because rose petals might stain the snazzy new apple-green carpet. Yes, I saved some of the hearts for the wedding album. Note: I can assure you Dad was a lot happier than he looks in the photo.

Once we’d been officially joined in matrimony, it was time for Cake! Melina, my Aggie bridesmaid, brought her “Steve Martin arrow-through-the-head” to keep things fun. Naturally, Dad jumped at the chance for a bit of harmless shenanigans. Oh, man, lookit those glasses on me!

While preparing this post, I got to wondering: Do we still have any of our original wedding gifts? Aside from our nicer flatware, this is the only one that came to mind. Notice the unappetizing ’70s harvest gold and avocado green backgrounds in the cover photo.

Speaking of the ’70s, I’ve saved the best for last. This photo was taken at a shower hosted by Brent’s mother’s best friend, Madalyn. Oh. My. Word. Could there be any more flowers in that picture?

I’ve enjoyed this stroll down memory lane, and appreciate your indulging me by coming along.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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What I Put Up With

Posted on July 28, 2017 by Jan C. Johnson

Disclaimer: No marriages were harmed in composing this post.

Date night! What to wear?

I wouldn’t doll up much. Formals are nice and all, but this was a regular ol’ local date, not some big snazzy do in Dallas.

Too Dressy

Too Scruffy

After all, we were going to eat hamburgers and then go sit in a dark theater juggling Junior Mints and a soft drink. “Casual” would be the wise choice. On the other hand, I didn’t want to look like the end of a 40-mile bike ride in June.

The trick was to shower and get myself reasonably groomed without going full-opera. You know, normal clothes, a bit of makeup. Earrings, if I can remember to wear them. I’d say the result looked fairly nice.

Let’s go with “moderately spiffy.”

Juuuuust right.

After dinner, we parked near the theater and walked toward it. When Brent offered his arm in his best “escort” manner, I hooked my hand around his elbow. He looked at me, his eyes lighting up with love. *

Brent: “Well, I’m with some arm candy tonight.”

Me: Yesss! I’ve nailed the outfit. >Fluffs hair, minces along in a prissy fashion.<

Brent: >Pulls long face< “Too bad it’s Sour Punch…”

There, you see what I put up with?

Lines like these are so sudden and so funny, I don’t even have time to pretend to be mad.

Full disclosure: Brent did get his Punch, but it wasn’t nearly as Sour as it might have been.

No bruising.

Thanks for reading,
Jan
* I guess that was impishness in his eyes after all.

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