Banana-Bread Math

Posted on March 11, 2014 by Jan C. Johnson

When I was working on my English degree, some of my fellow students thought I was a little odd. No surprise? Well, specifically, they thought it odd that I genuinely like math. In fact, I couldn’t get along without it.

Case in point…

Here's the finished product, PROOF that math works!

Here’s the finished product, PROOF that math works!

On Facebook, my niece Leah shared a yummy-looking recipe for Nutella Swirled Banana Bread. Naturally, a printed copy went into my file in the kitchen.

Weeks ago I noticed a neglected banana sitting on the counter, too ripe to eat.

Bingo.

So I peeled and mashed that sucker into a measuring cup. How much smooshy banana does it call for? Uh-oh… 1 1/2 cups. I’ve only got half a cup, or 1/3 enough banana.

No worries, you just divide the rest of the ingredients by 3 and make a sample-size loaf, right?

First, figure out what size pan you need. 4-by-8-inch loaf pan, divided by 3… 1/3 of 32 square inches = about 11 square inches. If I use a round pan it needs to be twice as big across as the square root of (11/pi), or 11/3.14. So, the square root of 3.5 = about 1.87, times 2… that gives you…

…an individual custard dish. (Retrieves a single custard dish from cabinet.)

Let’s see… 1/3 of 2 cups flour = 2/3 cup. Check.
1/3 of 3/4 tsp. baking soda? 1/4 tsp. Hah, easy! Check.
1/3 of 1/2 tsp. salt — use the 1/4-tsp spoon and don’t fill it full. Check.
1/3 of 1/4 cup butter = 1 1/3 Tbs (follow markings on wrapper… close enough.) Check.
1/3 of 1 cup sugar = obvious. Check.
1/3 of 2 large eggs = um, just take the smallest egg in the carton. Check.
Banana: put it ALL in, baby. Check.
1/3 of 1/3 cup plain lowfat yogurt. What… PLAIN LOWFAT YOGURT? Maybe I should have actually read the recipe first! Check fridge. NO yogurt of any kind.
But look, I still have some lowfat sour cream! I’m sure it will work. Just scoop in two tablespoons of that. Check.
Only, the carton was nearly empty… I didn’t have quiiite enough sour cream to substitute for the yogurt…
Fine. Add some liquid so it won’t be too dry. Maybe milk. You use milk in muffins, right? Banana bread is sort of muffin-esque…

By now I was pretty much done measuring. In went a splash or two of milk, then I dribbled in some vanilla straight from the bottle (Measuring spoon? me?? for VANILLA???? Pffft.) Now, to soften up some Nutella in a large mug. The recipe says to microwave it. The label says “Do Not Microwave.”

(Brief pause while chef puzzles over this, then sets the Nutella jar in warm water to soften the goods.)

Finally, 1/3 of 3/4 cup Nutella = 1/4 cup. Check.

Mix a cup–no, 1/3 cup–of the batter into the Nutella, then swirl the two batters together. Uh-oh, the custard dish is the right diameter but is not near deep enough. Sigh. Switch to whatever size pan looks like it should hold the stuff.

Bake for… um… Well, it says 60 minutes. Let’s just start with 20 minutes and then watch it reeeeal close-like.

Y’know, this experience brought “rounding” to a whole new level. That, and improvising.

By the way, the resulting bread was delicious!

And I owe it all to math.

Thanks for reading!
Jan

PS: I am linking up this week with the amazing zip-lining Jen, over at Finding Heaven Today.

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FrankenSquash

Posted on March 4, 2014 by Jan C. Johnson

Show of hands: who’s glad to have some warm days mixed into each week? Yep, spring is in the air. My optimistic self drools over seed packets, planning what yummy things I’ll grow this year. But now, while we’re waiting for that last frost to come and go, it’s time to GET REAL. Is my optimism warranted, or do I just get a bit manic around… dirt?

I might as well confess I am the only person in North America who simply cannot raise zucchini. Anyone else would toss a couple of seeds out there and end up with bushels of the stuff. Not me. I plant a dozen seeds, or even buy already-started plants and set them out. Results? loads of pretty orange blossoms that never set any fruit. Or maybe a couple of pale, embryonic squash that get about as big as half-used crayons before they shrivel up and turn a nasty yellowish color.

I have slightly more success composting the seeds from store-bought melons and spaghetti squash. I’ve harvested as many as three cantaloupes or spaghetti squashes out of the quarter mile of vines that sprawl over the garden. But seeds from store-bought zucchini won’t sprout because the zucchini are not “ripe” when you buy them. The seeds are thin, tender things that you don’t even notice you are eating. You certainly don’t bother to remove them before cooking the squash, so none of the seeds ever make it to the compost tub.

Last season I gave up on zucchini — didn’t even buy seeds. Instead I composted grape-tomatoes, bell peppers and spaghetti squash seeds in between the usual clumps of volunteer carrots. I also bought and set out a Japanese Eggplant, which produced one cigar-sized fruit before succumbing to stage fright. But never mind that.

One morning, after a few weeks of busily ignoring the garden, I wandered out there and noticed a fruit growing on one of the vines. It looked like… a zucchini! But how? I didn’t plant any! A closer look showed it was marked like a zucchini, but oval-shaped, more like a spaghetti squash. Weeks later it started showing yellow streaks. It wasn’t getting any prettier, so I picked it.
FrankenSquash

Clearly it had to be some sort of squash-related fruit. What to do? Why, slice and sauté it in a little olive oil, of course. So I sliced….
Squash1

…and found some pretty gnarly seeds in there. Like spaghetti squash seeds.
Seeds, yike!

No worries, you just cut the seedy middles out and cook it like zucchini, just as planned…right?
Trimmed and ready

Nice try. The squash was green, and mostly sort of looked like zucchini, but its daddy could have been a pumpkin or a Goodyear tire or a bullet-proof vest. Sauteing did NOT tenderize the rind. I’ll spare you a photo of the cooked-and-half-eaten results.

I never did figure out what sort of monster hybrid I had, um, created.

Oh well, spring’s a-comin. Another gardening season beckons.

Japanese Eggplant, anyone??

Thanks for reading,
Jan
PS: Join me at the blog party with Jen’s Soli Deo Gloria group!

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“Wings of Glass” (Book Review)

Posted on February 25, 2014 by Jan C. Johnson

HOLMES, GINA. Wings of Glass. Tyndale House, 2013.

Photo of cover borrowed from www.novelrocket.com

Photo of cover borrowed from http://www.novelrocket.com

(Fiction.) Penny Carson gave Trent Taylor her hand in marriage, but all he gave her in return was his fist… and harsh, demeaning words. Isolated from her family, almost a prisoner in her own home, Penny somehow still loves Trent.

I had never understood how any woman could put up with domestic abuse, but Holmes clearly depicts the low self-respect that made Penny susceptible to Trent’s insincere charm in the first place. Add his promise of escaping her dull life and his persuasion to elope with only a good-bye note to her parents. Result? The sense that she had burned her bridges and could never return home.

Though he was a most meager provider, Trent kept Penny dependent on him by refusing to allow her to look for a job. All that changed after he was seriously injured in a work accident. While he recovered, Penny would have to earn their living. As she scrambled to meet their needs, she caught the scent of freedom–of a normal, adult life. In the process she made two staunch friends who struggled to help her see her plight for what it was, and to break free. Would she find the strength to do so, before it was too late?

I highly recommend this story of friendship, courage and redemption. Holmes writes in the first person, from Penny’s point of view, with an engaging voice that made the character come to life for me. Penny’s story drew me in and left me with a greater understanding and compassion for women trapped in abusive relationships.

Available in paperback and e-reader formats from Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Thanks for reading!
Jan
PS: I am linking up with Jen and the Soli Deo Gloria sisters. You are welcome to click over and see what my friends are up to!

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Cubbie-Holed!

Posted on February 18, 2014 by Jan C. Johnson

One day my friend Lori called and asked me to be on the substitute list for the preschool Bible and activity class at our church. Helping on an occasional Wednesday night in the preschool class, called the Cubbies, sounded kind of fun. Then I learned that their mascot is a teddy bear.

Oh, yeah. I’m in.

A couple of months later Lori called on me. My first task was to learn the names of the kids, five or so little moving targets who were all as cute as buttons. You say that sounds easy enough? Oh sure, you can probably name all Santa’s reindeer, too.

After introducing the children, Lori ran over the simple agenda with me. Craft time, large group, book time, snack. All the materials were right there on our countertop, except for the large group time, when both classes would gather in the big room across the hall.

1. Craft Time: Noah’s Ark was our theme for the evening. We had pre-cut crepe paper streamers in rainbow colors, a paper plate for each child, a bag of cotton balls and some glue. At their age, the kids could do very little independently. So the teachers would staple the streamers to hang from one edge of the plate and spread some glue, and the kids could stick their cotton balls on for clouds.

Riiiiight.

“I CAN DO IT MYSELF” seemed to be the order of the day. Most of the children insisted on pressing a tiny hand down on the rather stiff stapler, whether the crepe paper was in place or not, while I tried to help without appearing to do so. Call me “stealth fingers.” At that, two or three of the kids scolded me for interfering. The activity progressed at glacial speed.

2. Group Time: Across the hall, a team of high-school students wisely led the children in get-the-wiggles-out songs with hand motions and plenty of jumping around. For the last song, “Show Me a Trick,” they passed around a mat and each kid executed a somersault or other performance. Surely they’ll be tired and will sit and listen to the puppet show and story, right?

Riiiiight.

The Cubby Bear puppet was quite popular. In fact, the children had to repeatedly be shooed away from the stage. For the story, Lori brought out visual aids, did the voices, and even swooped around the room like a dove. Her efforts garnered about 3% of the little ones’ attention. The rest of us grownups sat among the kids and tried to keep them sitting still and out of each other’s faces, with predictable results, while a sort of bucket brigade of children rotated in and out of the miniature restroom. The flushing noises added a touch of realism to the Noah’s Flood story.

3. Book time: I can only give thanks for the wonderful high-school student who knew all about getting toddlers to repeat their memory verses and how to record their success in their books. He did it without my even realizing, as I was entangled in the other craft which had been prepared to keep the children busy while waiting their turn to say their Bible verse. What was the other craft? Ya got me. I’m pretty sure it was multi-colored.

4. Snack time: By now I felt like I’d been trapped in a popcorn popper for an hour. The snack was rainbow colored… something. Skittles, perhaps? No idea whether or not the little sweethearts got water to drink. Fortunately, the parents arrived to rescue any who were thirsty.

Well, that was my Wednesday evening, an exercise which I can only compare to juggling ferrets. Cute little ferrets with boundless energy.

I hope I get to fill in again soon!

Thanks for reading,
Jan

PS: I am linking up with the amazing Jen and our Soli Deo Gloria friends.

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Soli Deo Gloria Retreat, Part 2

Posted on February 11, 2014 by Jan C. Johnson

Last time, I told you about my old habit of trying to be whatever people expect me to be. And how this compulsion came back to smack me in the face during the 2013 Soli Deo Gloria retreat. But once this fact hit home, I didn’t just sit there saying, “Well lookie there, I’m riddled with performance anxiety” without trying to get free of it. Here’s what I did about it…

First I asked myself why I think every spiritual question must apply to me, when I can take or leave questions about other areas. Seriously, if someone asked “Write down your worst memory about hiking Death Valley” I wouldn’t feel as if I had to provide a real answer. A big, fat “N/A” would do nicely.

After some thought, it occurred to me that in matters of faith, I depend on my performance, my “right answers,” for a sense of worthiness and significance. A quick look through my journal showed well-organized Bible study notes: The date and passage at the top of each page. Hanging-indent paragraphs, each beginning with the verse under consideration. Afterthoughts neatly footnoted.

It looked like a textbook.

So I turned to a new page and—this was a big step but I won’t blame you if you laugh—forced myself to ignore the lines and write diagonally. In the middle of the top half of the page I wrote,

Stop being SO rigidly methodical.

Around that I jotted down characteristics and lies that held me back:

Starchy. Tightly wound. Must fit in. Competitive. Inside the box. Performance-driven. Coloring only inside the lines.

In the middle of the page I wrote a core truth:

In HIM you are free.

Below that, I wrote more specific truths:

Journal page

Uniquely me. I don’t have all the answers; yay! Authentic. Margins are okay. God is FOR me. No carbon copy of anyone else.

Those randomly placed, every-which-way words had a remarkably freeing effect on me. Of course, the following pages of my journal feature the familiar hanging indents and neat paragraphs… but I no longer feel as if I’m taking an essay exam every time I make notes on a passage of scripture.

Instead, I come before my God with an open heart and simply communicate with him. Since he knows me better than I know myself, there is no reason to guard my words. In fact, transparency is a major factor in true intimacy, which is what I want.

The retreat was three months ago now, and I often need to be reminded of things I learn. So a paper clip bookmarks my “freeform” journal page. When that “compulsion to perform” crops up, I go back and read the truth aloud…

In HIM you are free.

Thanks for reading,
Jan
PS: Join me over at Jen’s for the Soli Deo Gloria blog party!

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Report: Soli Deo Gloria Retreat

Posted on February 4, 2014 by Jan C. Johnson

Weeks ago, I promised to tell you about last November’s Soli Deo Gloria retreat. Then I got “Grandma Brain” and sort of fell off the digital map. During the delay, though, some of what I learned had a chance to process and percolate…

Don't we all sometimes feel like a pile of broken pieces?

Don’t we all sometimes feel like a pile of broken pieces?

The theme of the retreat was “Be Restored.” Gifted speakers told us about tragic mistakes they had made, hurts they had experienced. And how God had shown himself to be their friend, healer and comforter. How he put the pieces together and brought these broken hearts back to a place of joy and usefulness.

Periodically we paused for discussion times around our tables. As my table-mates shared their own physical or emotional struggles, a familiar feeling gripped me: a sense of inadequacy. Why? Because my guilt was worse than others’, or my problems more difficult than theirs? Quite the opposite. I felt inadequate, unworthy… Because everything in my life right then was going pretty well.

My problems were Not Worth Sharing.

Yes, I should have been supremely thankful. But all I felt was this slight panic. My inner drill sergeant was barking at me to perform, to contribute – like everyone else who had spoken.

I mentally raced through my inventory of issues, weaknesses… nothing seemed important enough to mention. What to do? I wouldn’t have gone so far as to invent problems. But I did flirt with the temptation to embellish the ones I had.

Not only that, but this wasn’t my first panic reaction. In fact it was “déjà vu all over again,” since I went through almost exactly the same thing at the previous year’s retreat.

Despite the growth and freedom I’ve gained, my lifelong habit of Wanting To Give The Right Answer sneaks back in to hamper me at times. I was stunned to find that compulsion to “fit in” still lingering.

As near as I can figure, my worst “issue” was this chronic need to fulfill everyone’s expectations, especially in a group setting. To fit in, even at the expense of honesty.

Next time I’ll tell you how I fought back, right at that table, and what steps I have taken since then to keep myself free of this bad habit.

I’m linking up, of course, with Jen and the Soli Deo Gloria girls.
Thanks for reading!
Jan

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