Post #200: YOUR Turn

Posted on July 8, 2013 by Jan C. Johnson

cropped-img_1465.jpgI can’t believe it: in a little under three years I have published 199 posts. This one is #200. Thanks to all who have read these thoughts. I wouldn’t keep writing if it weren’t for you readers! I mean, what would be the point?

Anyway, to show my appreciation, I wanted to do something different just for you. How’s about a poll to see what kind of posts you like best??

Here’s me below, wondering what my readers want most. Will you tell me which category you like best of all? (Yeah, the picture is totally Photoshopped–my hair doesn’t really look like that.) You can choose up to two favorites below, or choose a favorite AND add a write-in candidate.

And on a related note, here’s a question that has been bugging me for ages. The experts say that a blog should be all about one topic, or one category. Rebel that I am, I publish book reviews AND goofy stories about marriage & parenting AND bicycling tales AND devotional/spiritual posts. My rationale: I want my readers to think of me as a friend, chatting over coffee. Now, when I meet friends for lunch or coffee, we don’t talk about just one thing. I don’t have one friend who discusses only her kids, another who talks about nothing but books, a third who never says a thing that isn’t in the Bible, and one who shares recipes but never mentions her husband or kids.

Am I driving people away with all this variety? Do my bicycling readers want to throw the computer out the window when they see a gooey post about my kids? I can’t figure it out on my own so I’ll just turn to you for your answer…

Again, this blog is for you, the reader. Whether you simply click a bubble, or go on to elaborate in the comments, I welcome your honest opinion.

Well, that’s all the homework for this time. I can’t thank you enough for your feedback!

Oh — I am linking up this week with Jen and the Soli Deo Gloria sisters.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

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The Opposite of Masculinity: A Guest Post

Posted on July 1, 2013 by Jan C. Johnson

Hi, Friends,
I found the following piece at Rachel Anne’s Home Sanctuary blog linkup on June 21. I was going to share it (with the author’s permission, of course) as a followup to my Father’s Day post, “Runs in the Background.” But by the time I found it I had already scheduled the Church Ladies post to publish the following Tuesday.
So, sort of loosely connected with my own thoughts on what makes a wonderful husband / dad, here is Scott Perkins. This post appeared on his blog at “Choose to Trust” on June 18, 2013. I have copied it in its entirety except for Mr. Perkins’ internal links, which you can follow in the original post.

The Opposite of Masculinity

by Scott Perkins

Femininity is not the opposite of masculinity. They are complements.

The opposite of masculinity is passivity.

Passivity waits to be acted upon. Masculinity initiates.

Passivity avoids. Masculinity enters.

Passivity enables. Masculinity leads.

Passivity backs away. Masculinity stands firm.

In the garden, men and women were both given the image of their Creator. They were created differently; they were created to be complements; they were created for oneness. (see Image Part One)

Yet, in relationship, men tend toward passivity. It is the pattern of male brokenness started in the garden by Adam, who backed away to let his wife – bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh – face the temptations of the serpent alone.

He was not the bearer and handler of truth, so his wife succumbed to the lies.

It is the sin of looking away from God – in fact, just looking away and choosing not to see. And God spoke to Adam’s sin first.

Passivity is not the complement of femininity. In the presence of a passive male, women are allowed (or encouraged) to live out of sync with their own design, leading to anger and resentment toward their spouse.

A friction that creates shame and thus ingrains the passive pattern more deeply.

Passivity is a manifestation of the false self. It is a covering that is apart from God.

It provides the false sense of comfort, security and protection that the false self craves to cover shame and prove “I’m OK.” (see Justifying a Diminished Masculinity)

Passivity says…

If I don’t risk, then I cannot feel the shame of failure.
If I don’t initiate, then I cannot feel the shame of rejection.
If I avoid, then I don’t have to expose my vulnerability.

Passivity is about a lack of trust. Distrust of God as the true source of wholeness, and distrust of the spouse as one who will provide love.

Jesus enables masculinity. When a man has an identity rooted in Christ, he can be masculine without fearing a loss of value through failure, rejection or vulnerability.
In what other ways are passivity and masculinity opposites?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me (Jan) again:
I found some food for thought here, and the post generated some lively conversation over at Scott’s.
What do you think?

Also, I’m linking up with Jen and the Soli Deo Gloria girls for a virtual coffee break this week.

Thanks for reading!
Jan

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Time-sensitive: Don’t Lose Joywriting!

Posted on June 28, 2013 by Jan C. Johnson

Hi, all,

I guess my head has been in the sand…. I just found out from Author Media that Google is shutting down Google Reader as of this Monday, July 1.

If you subscribe to this and/or other blogs via Google Reader, you’ll need to switch to another reader. I picked “Feedly,” told it I wanted to import my Google Reader settings, and was done in, like, 5 seconds.

Below is a list of 10 alternatives to Google Reader, provided by Shaney over at Author Media. Look them up, check them out, pick one and move your subscriptions there. Do it before Monday. Better yet, do it right now, before you forget. I included the link to Feedly, which is the one I chose. Click here for Shaney’s post with all the links.

Feedly
Flipboard
Google Currents
NetVibes
NewsBlur
Pulse
Reeder
Taptu
The Old Reader
Zite

Thanks for making the switch and taking me with you!
Jan

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In Harmony

Posted on June 25, 2013 by Jan C. Johnson

Last week I read about a couple of church ladies who couldn’t get along. I can just see them, noses in the air, chins thrust out, arms folded. Not budging. Nuh-uh. When you’re right, you’re right, right?

Haha, church ladies squabbling. Sounds familiar–and sort of comical–doesn’t it? You’ve probably seen something like this yourself. The fight could have flared up yesterday, but the story I read wasn’t in the newspaper or the comics. This dust-up happened in about 61 AD in Philippi, a city that would be somewhere around Bulgaria if it still existed. The apostle Paul addressed both ladies in the New Testament book of Philippians, chapter 4, the first few verses.

I mean, think about it: right in the middle of his letter to their whole church, Paul called two individuals out by name and asked their pastor to encourage them to get over it. That letter is in the Bible, folks. Now, Paul didn’t say what they argued about, but still. Millions of people over the last nineteen-plus centuries have read about these two women, and we all know they quarreled.

How embarrassing!

But I love how Paul phrased his instructions. Did he expect them to agree about everything? Hardly! Did he take sides? Nope. He acknowledged both women as his fellow workers in the cause of the faith they all shared. His advice to them was simply “to live in harmony in the Lord.”

The word “harmony” got my attention. As a music lover, I know a few things about harmony. Mainly, that the word refers to different notes that sound good together. If everyone is singing or playing the same note, that’s “unison.” Unison is fine, but you can’t call it harmony. And unison can get a little boring.

I’ve seen a few church lady arguments (and church guy arguments) myself. They often arise when someone thinks their role, or their opinion, or their pet priority, is the only one that matters. And then they diss someone else’s. Ouch!

Two people can hold different opinions, and both can be right. Every job, every voice, is important. We all need each other. As near as I can figure, the purpose we have in common trumps our differences.

Remember, if it weren’t for differences, there could be no harmony.

Your turn: What is your take on “living in harmony?” Have you ever set aside your preferences (or at least put down your dukes) for the sake of resolving differences? No names, please!

I look forward to your comments.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

Linking up this week with Rachel Anne’s Company Girls and Jen and the Soli Deo Gloria sisters.

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Runs In the Background

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Jan C. Johnson

My husband, Brent, is one of the most generous, most unassuming and least demanding guys I know. Like a system scan on the computer, he “can run in the background while you do other work.” And he does. If he sees that something needs doing around the house he just takes care of it. For instance, I often get sidetracked from cleaning up after dinner. I’ll become lost in working on my latest chapter or blog post, forgetting all about the mess. Half an hour later I “come to” and rush to the kitchen–only to find the dishes rinsed and loaded and the leftovers already in the fridge.

He doesn’t even do it to make me feel guilty, although it does. He’s simply that diligent!

I appreciate this trait a lot, especially when he doesn’t put away stuff that I just this minute got out to use. But that’s another blog post. The point is, he has my back and is always willing to step in if I overlook something.

But sometimes Brent is the very one who gets overlooked. That is ironic because, to me, he is the most important person in this family. In so many ways, I couldn’t get along without him.

The only reward Brent wishes for his pitching-in is to know that I’m thinking of him, that I value him. Of course I value him–I don’t mind telling you, he’s the greatest husband in the world! And yet I get to rushing around taking care of this errand or phone call, that bit of paperwork for my mom, an oil change for one car or another, the groceries, the laundry, and…

… and I let our anniversary or Valentine’s Day sneak up on me. Or Father’s Day. I ask for gift suggestions, put in time thinking about what kind of card he would like, browse the bookstore. But when the day arrives I wake up and realize that somehow in all my rushing, I never quite got around to actually buying that gift, or even a card.

So, Brent, it’s time for me to bring you out of the background! Let me say in front of the whole world that I love you more than words can express. You are an amazing person, husband and father. I can’t get over being grateful to the Lord for you, and never want to take our marriage for granted. Thanks for all the many ways you take care of me. You’re the best.

Happy Father’s Day.

Thanks for reading,
Jan
PS: This week I am bragging to sharing with Rachel Anne and the Company Girls.
Also with Jen and the Soli Deo Gloria girls. (<– Click over to find out "What Happens When You Leave the Boat.")
jj

Posted in I Remember When... (my OWN stories) | Tagged , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

How Coffee Put Me On Edge (It Ain’t the Caffeine)

Posted on June 10, 2013 by Jan C. Johnson

For years, coffee made me crazy, and not because of the caffeine.

It was that underhanded coffeemaker of mine.

SunbeamYes, I know:
“Another appliance? Seriously?”

You have every right to ask, after my mishaps with the microwave, washing machine, vacuum cleaner, the revenge of the microwave, and even the navigation system on my car. But hear me out.

I bought Mr. Sunbeam umpteen years ago when we lived in Arizona. That was back when I hated coffee. The only reason I got Sunbeam was so my parents and Brent’s, all coffee enthusiasts, could make their morning brew when any of them were visiting. They would fly or drive clear across the desert to see us. For my part, I’d unearth Mr. Sunbeam, dust him off and set him out on the counter. Oh, and run out to buy the smallest can of coffee I could find.

Years later when we lived in Texas and I worked in our church office, I started drinking coffee myself. Sometimes I even made a little at home on weekends. Sunbeam migrated out of the back of the pantry and into a place of honor on the kitchen counter.

And speaking of “counter,” Mr. Sunbeam had the most counter-intuitive on/off switch I have ever seen. Sure, it sounds insignificant… but with no automatic shutoff, you couldn’t just go off and leave him on all day. Not unless you wanted the aroma of scorched coffee wafting through the house when you got back.

So you’d go to turn him off. The bright-red switch has no light, only a black dot on the top. The black dot was firmly associated in my mind with a hot curling iron. My logic ran something like:

Black dot = hot = ON.

But Sunbeam was too tricky for that. No, the black dot only showed when the switch was turned OFF. For some reason it was a monumental chore to retrain my brain to read:

Black dot = OFF = not hot.

A tiny thing, to cause so much cognitive dissonance.

Fortunately, I was slightly smarter than my coffeemaker. I just unplugged it after pouring the last cup. Problem solved.

Then, our sons started drinking coffee too. When they came to visit I would make extra. Whoever took the last cup would decide the power was already turned OFF since the switch wasn’t lighted, and go on about their business. Hours later, the aroma of scorched coffee wafting through the house would alert me to the truth.

Well played, Mr. Sunbeam.

I got the last laugh, though–starting with a routine trip to Target one fateful day.

Meet Mr. Coffee: tall, dark and handsome. Not only that, he communicates with me. Notice the little green light that announces to the whole world: Mr. Coffee is ON. He’s practically my soul mate, though no one could ever really take Brent’s place.

But you know, I’m beginning to wonder whether Sunbeam really did make me crazy. Because now I sort of miss the aroma of scorched coffee wafting through the house.

Well… I almost miss it.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

Today I’m sharing virtual coffee with Jen, over at the Soli Deo Gloria party. Have a cup with us? I promise it isn’t scorched…
AND I’m visiting Rachel Anne and the girls for some “Company Girls Coffee” — so MUCH coffeeeeee….

Posted in I Remember When... (my OWN stories), Maladjusted Mondays | Tagged , , , , , , , | 17 Comments