Blameless… Who, Me??

Those of you who know me well might be surprised to learn that during my senior year of high school, I got sent to the principal’s office. As a middle born authority-pleaser, I’ve always followed the rules, perhaps to the point of priggishness. I suspect Mother Teresa got in trouble more often than I did.

Normally the thought of having a teacher even mildly annoyed with me would tie my stomach in knots. I hated being guilty as much as I hated getting caught. And there I was, busted to the Big House. Yet, odd as it seems, while I waited for Mr. Davis to come decide my fate I didn’t feel at all upset.

Why not? Simple. I knew I was blameless. Here’s the case history: My friends and I were in the habit of playing the card game “Spades” in the cafeteria during lunch. We played for nothing but points and no one ever bothered us about it. That day, I had brought a deck of cards but we used someone else’s. A boy in my English class asked if he could borrow my cards. He would give them back in class. “Sure!” I handed them over without a thought.

Gamble? Who, me??

Gamble? Who, me??

Turns out, my classmate had bigger stakes in mind. The guys got caught playing poker for money, with my cards, which were promptly confiscated. So I had to go retrieve them from Mr. Davis himself. First he tried to lecture me on the evils of gambling. It fell a little flat because I totally agreed with him. I wasn’t trying to be rebellious or anything, but I just didn’t feel guilty. Having loaned a classmate something in all innocence, I felt no more responsible for his behavior than I would if I had loaned him a pen and he used it to write a hate note to the Ag teacher.

Finally Mr. Davis shrugged, advised me not to let anyone else play with my cards, and gave them back to me.

I thought of this not long ago, while reading the New Testament book of Jude, verses 24 and 25. At only 25 verses, this punchy little letter is usually counted as the 4th shortest book of the Bible. A brief phrase in the last paragraph caught my eye. Jude, the writer, offers praise “…to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy…”

Blameless, with great joy.

Jude did not put together two random characteristics, like “tall, with a laptop” or “intelligent, with a spatula.” The laptop has nothing to do with a person’s height, and spatulas bear no relation to brain power. No, in Jude’s letter, experiencing joy in God’s presence has everything to do with being blameless.

God, our Creator, is sovereign over the universe, even more powerful than the high school principal. He gets to call the shots, which is great because he rules with perfect justice. Most of us want to go to his heaven when we die, but none of us can live a good enough life to qualify for a spot. Bad news, right?

Right, but the good news is that God does not expect us to qualify. Jesus came to earth as a human and lived a perfect, blameless life. When he gave up his life on the cross, he was not paying for any blame of his own, but for ours. Then God raised him from the dead, conquering death and dancing on its finality. When I acknowledged my guilt and trusted him, he paid the debt of guilt for me–and credited his perfection, his blamelessness, to my account. That same transaction is available to anyone who will simply ask him for it.

For me, guilt is the worst feeling in the world. A clear conscience is the best. I could never have cleared my own conscience, but Jesus is able to make me stand in the presence of his glory, without fear because I am blameless. And that gives me great joy.

I hope, if you have not already found the joy of blamelessness, this will be your year to do so.
And that you won’t even have to go to the principal’s office.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

PS: PARTY TIME! I am linking up with my sweet sisters over at Jen’s Soli Deo Gloria blog party, and with Rachel Anne and the Company Girls.

Posted in A Page From My Journal, I Remember When... (my OWN stories) | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

“Reinventing Leona” (Book Review)

Available on amazon.com

Available on amazon.com

I’d been wanting to read this e-novel for quite a while, but did not have a Kindle. Yeah, I know you can download the Kindle software on your computer. I did that, but my hand-me-up laptop would not allow me to register it, so I could not actually buy any books. It’s bossy like that.

Anyway, I got a Kindle for Christmas and have been mulching through book after book, including Lynne Gentry’s Reinventing Leona. Now that it is on my virtual shelf, I’ll share my thoughts about it with you.

Gentry, Lynne. Reinventing Leona. Tyndale House, 2011.

Okay, I’ve tried to tell my friends how hilarious this book about a pastor’s wife is… even though in the first few pages, the main character’s husband drops dead right in the pulpit one Sunday morning. That’s when I see their eyes narrow just a little, and they start edging toward the nearest exit.

No, really, Gentry has the most entertaining way of showing the quirky and humorous side of situations, even tragic ones. Leona, the protagonist, finds herself thrown on her own devices, right in the middle of her crushing grief. Her resume as a longtime pastor’s wife has little to offer the marketplace. As one aspect of her life after another crashes down around her, she scrambles to adapt. All the while she has to dodge the arrows of church members’, um, well-meant advice.

The characters are real enough to touch, especially Leona, her children and her spoiled, eccentric mother. You’ll cheer for Leona and her faithful old friends… plus the new ones she finds in the most unexpected places.

Linking up today with Jen and the Soli Deo Gloria sisters, as well as Rachel Anne and the Company Girls. Many of these friends love a good story as much as I do!

Thanks for reading!
Jan

Posted in Everybody Has a Story | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Sisterhood Challenge

If you’ve been hearing a lot of noise online lately, and it wasn’t heavy metal bands on YouTube, you just might have wandered within earshot of the Soli Deo Gloria Sisters. Yes, it’s gotten a little rowdy over here, what with all the giggling and hugging and chocolate-passing. That’s because Jen, our hostess, invited/challenged everyone to share what sisterhood means to us.

I hesitated, wondering whether to participate. For me, the Soli Deo Gloria “Sisterhood” Challenge is just that: challenging. I would love to share, like many of the group, pictures and stories of the goofy, happy times my sister and I shared. But I’m not feeling it.

My own sister, Martha, died almost two years ago. She was a lovely, talented, hardworking woman full of courage and integrity. Between the years we lived in different states and the different routes we took through life (career, etc.), there were seasons when we were not very close. But underneath it all we were always friends. In the last several years we did have a close relationship, meeting often for a lunch-and-gabfest or maybe to see a show. Both writers, we encouraged and supported each other. I miss her a lot.

While I sat with Martha in the hospice during her last week, I drafted a blog post in tribute to her. As a preteen, she had been baptized into the Christian faith. But our recent conversations about spiritual things left me feeling uncertain about whether she had truly trusted Jesus Christ for salvation. In the post, “Truest Life,” I used the analogy of a child growing up sooner than her friends. This depicted the transition from earthly life into heaven, from the viewpoint of those left behind. All the while I was hoping, hoping this glorious transition would be her experience.

But I could not be sure.

And so, when I chose to include Christ’s words about being the resurrection and the life, and his promise of life-despite-death for all who believe in him, I could not in good conscience say they applied to her. As dear and sweet as she was, she had given me no reason to think that she owned those words for herself. Instead, I added the quote as a sort of postscript. As a statement of fact, whether or not Martha accepted it.

Since then, I have recalled more long-ago conversations that have quite blown out my little candle of hope. It breaks my heart to tell you that, over the years, Martha indicated again and again that she did not see any need for Christ to save or forgive her.

Since she chose not to trust Christ or bow to his authority, he would not have been so unkind as to drag her into heaven. Why unkind? –because there, everyone is in the presence of God all the time. Worshiping and serving the resurrected Jesus, enjoying his company—that is what people do in heaven.

According to Christ’s promise, he makes this eternal life available to everyone. But he will not force it on anyone. Even though the alternative is unthinkable darkness, he allows each individual their free will, to choose him… or not.

Please understand that I am not judging or bad-mouthing my sister. Martha was every bit as good a person as I am. The only difference is that I submitted to God’s authority, confessed my sinfulness—my failure to live up to his standard of perfection—and asked him to forgive me. If, as I fear, Martha chose not to do this, I will never see her again.

All this to say that my perspective on sisterhood has deepened and expanded since Martha’s death. No one can take her place in my heart, but other sisters—sisters in Christ—have stepped in for me. We have forged bonds that will never break. These I treasure, while mourning my dearest Sis.

I wish I could have done or said something to make Martha change her mind. But each must choose for himself or herself.

If we could live a good enough life to earn heaven, Christ would not have needed to endure the cross. How about you? Do you love people whose “good life” stands in the way, blocking them from seeing any need for God’s mercy? Can you remind them that Christ’s sacrifice was necessary for every one of us?

Thanks for reading,
Jan

Posted in A Page From My Journal, Grief Anticipated | Tagged , , , , , | 17 Comments

Daze of Christmas

“Did you have a good Christmas?” People ask me in all innocence, then back slowly away as they see my eyes glaze. So our holiday was no Norman Rockwell print. At least I have recovered sufficiently to talk about it now.

Our son Greg planned to come straight to our house after work Christmas Eve, then we would all go to my mother’s for an early dinner. What Greg may not have known when he agreed to this is that we had my mom’s old drop-leaf dining table stuffed into the back of Brent’s SUV. We needed Greg to help us move it to her apartment after having “borrowed” it for around thirty-two years. Since our slave labor has all moved out of the house, we have to be sneaky like that.

The table was a snap to move, especially compared to getting rid of Mom’s old Futon. She no longer had room for it and we didn’t have a truck to move it to storage. The manager let us take it to an unoccupied apartment for later disposal. Greg earned his dinner that day, as the thing weighs about as much as a baby grand piano.

Back home, we packed for next morning’s trip to see Brent’s mom and brother in the Houston area. Both his sisters were coming with their families, too, for the massive present-opening extravaganza and a delicious Christmas dinner. Since we expected sub-freezing weather most of the day after Christmas, we asked Brent’s mom if we could bring the dogs along and she graciously agreed.

Dogs–check. Dog beds, food and dishes–check. Suitcases–check. Presents–check. Off we drove, south toward Houston. Aggie can’t jump up into the car any more, so we had to pick her up like a calf and put her in. She’s a great passenger, just mellows out in the car. Tipper, on the other hand, shivered and panted in Greg’s lap the whole time. I drove starting out, and she and Greg rode shotgun, so I could see her out of the corner of my eye, just vibrating and clicking nonstop. It nearly drove me nuts.

We had been on the road for an hour when Brent’s mom called. “You’ll never believe this, but our power is out again.” The neighborhood had already experienced power outages during two visits earlier in the year. She thought most of the town was affected this time. Apparently we are the jinx.

The weather was still pleasant when we arrived. We didn’t miss having electricity. Gift wrap flew everywhere as usual and settled knee-deep across the living room.

A neighbor stopped by on the way home from work and reported that the outage was indeed widespread. Probably nothing would be fixed until some time the next day.

So much for cooking Christmas dinner.

My sis- and brother-in-law offered to move the party to their house an hour away, and we could all spend the night. What else could we do? So… Groceries–check. Dogs–check. Dog beds, food and dishes–check. Suitcases–check. Presents–um, we can get them tomorrow. Off we drove, west through Houston. Brent’s brother stayed home despite the lack of heat because he had to go to work first thing the next morning. This time, both Aggie and Tipper seemed perfectly calm.

Once at their house, Sis and her daughter did a marvelous job whipping up dinner as the cold front moved in and wind howled around the house. I helped where I could, between jaunts outside, trying to make the dogs as comfortable as possible. Meanwhile, everyone else was hauling suitcases upstairs and down, trying to figure out where we would all sleep.

After scarfing meat, salad, veggies and more rolls than I am prepared to admit, I helped wash dishes. It was the least I could do. Then Brent’s mom called home and learned that the power was back on already. We could tell she really wanted to be back in her own house. Time to move the chaos back across town and get out of our poor sis’s hair.

I felt like Star Wars’ JarJar Binks. “We-sa goin’ hooooome!”

Here we go again: Dogs–check. Dog beds, food and dishes–check. Suitcases–check. Leftovers–what leftovers? Off we drove, east through Houston. The dogs cuddled together beside me in the back seat, sharing the space equally even though Tipper is only half Aggie’s size, even with her fur fluffed out. Back at Mom’s house we reveled in the miracles of electric light and central heating, then settled down for a good night’s sleep.

The Alpha Dog, recuperating at home

The Alpha Dog, recuperating at home

Next day after lunch, we loaded up the car one last time. Dogs–check. Dog beds, food and dishes–check. Suitcases–check. Presents–check. Again I got in back, with Tipper sprawling luxuriously beside me and Aggie wedged in the far corner with her muzzle jammed under the door handle. Three guesses which is the Alpha dog. I barely remember getting home.

So that was our Christmas–or, as Brent calls it, “that 60-hour Chinese fire drill.”

Let’s just say we did NOT start any new holiday traditions this year. I hope.

Your turn, friends: what was most memorable about your Christmas celebration? Do tell!

Thanks for reading,
Jan
PS: I am linking up with Rachel Anne and the Company Girls today.

Posted in I Remember When... (my OWN stories) | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Looking Back: My Top Five of 2012

Last week WordPress emailed me a summary of my blog’s statistics for 2012. I thought you might enjoy a quick stroll down memory lane, so here is a list of my top five most-viewed posts, with links to each in case you’d like to revisit any of them.

5. Advice To 20-Somethings: A Guest Post, February 2012
4. “Cracked Nuts & Sentimental Journeys:” A Book Review, August 2012
3. Mrs. Tweedy and her Majestic Dubble-Bubble Hairdo, May 2012
2. Not Your Ordinary Bike Ride, November 2012

And the most-viewed post all year…

1. Forgotten Soldiers? (Not if I can help it), February 2012

While I’m on the subject, I would like to thank each one of you who read my blog. Some of you have laughed or sighed or cried with me, and I appreciate it. I hope to post more regularly in 2013 than I have in the past couple of months, although it’s time for the blog to take a back seat to the novel I am working on. (Secret: Writing a novel is a little bit harder than it might look.)

I guess I’ll have to get organized.

Thanks for reading! Really!
Jan

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

“Illuminated” (Book Review)

Illuminated coverCastle, Jackie. Illuminated (The White Road Chronicles). Kindle edition, Castle Library, 2012.

This Young Adult fantasy drew me in from the beginning. I loved the protagonist, a young lady with a past she can’t remember, now living under the thumb of a harsh ruler who claims to be her father. Despite her mouth getting her in trouble with friends and foes alike, she strives to find the truth about her real home and family.

The best thing about this book, besides the page-turning suspense and adventure, is Castle’s wide variety of well-drawn and true-to-life characters. Each major character comes in with issues: past hurts, prejudices, or insecurities… and most try to deal with those issues. Their struggles and varying degrees of success give the story an overall tone that is both hopeful and redemptive.

The book could have benefited from a more thorough proofreading. Normally, awkward punctuation and wrong-word errors distract me so much I cannot finish a book. But this story was so good that I kept going, right to the satisfying end. If you are not a grammar Nazi it probably won’t bother you. I recommend this story to you, and truly look forward to the next book in the series. (Added January 2013)

I am linking up with my friends at Jen’s Soli Deo Gloria sisterhood.

Thanks for reading!
Jan

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments