“Sparks” (Part 1)

by Janice C. Johnson –
This essay was my entry in the University of Texas at Arlington English Department’s 2008-2009 Undergraduate Creative Writing Contest, where it won 1st place in Creative Non-Fiction. I post the piece (in three installments), based on my dad’s stories, in his memory.

The S.S. Edward P. Costigan balanced for a moment, her bow high above one of the many swells rippling the South Pacific Ocean. As she cleared the wave, ten thousand tons of ship slammed down onto flat water with a shock that ran through the entire vessel from hull to mast. The radio went dead.

“Damn!” said Bob Caldwell. Barely twenty-one years old at the time, my father ran his fingers through his dark brown hair. A muscle in his lean jaw worked as he inspected the radio tubes, found the one with the broken filament, and yanked it out in disgust. The Costigan, empty of cargo, was steaming along toward Australia to pick up another load of supplies for Allied troops in the Philippines. World War II raged on every front. In the Pacific theater, the Allies had been island-hopping from south to north, securing important bases and drawing ever closer to striking distance of Japan. The US Maritime Commission cargo vessels known as “Liberty Ships” supplied the GIs with everything from bullets and C-rations to Jeeps and tanks so they could keep working. Their vital cargo, the danger from Japanese planes and submarines, and changing conditions at the Allied bases made communication by radio absolutely essential. And that is why Bob, a young railroad telegraph operator who had enlisted in the Merchant Marine during the war, counted his dwindling supply of spare radio tubes with some alarm and went to find the Captain.

The root of the problem was the way an empty cargo ship floated – so high in the water that the propeller rode uselessly several feet above the surface. The Costigan’s captain knew to open the cargo holds and allow seawater in to ballast the ship until the propeller was at the right level. He ballasted #5, the aft hold, until the propeller was down in the water. Once underway, though, he did not bother about opening the forward hold. The ship traveled with its hollow bow up in the air, subject to such indignities as had just happened.

“Cap’n, if we don’t ballast the #1 hold we won’t have any radio communication!” Bob told the captain when he had located him. The throb of engines from below almost drowned out the faint tinkling sound of the broken filament as he gestured with the glass tube.

“Ah, t’ank you, Sparks. I’ll look into dat,” said the Captain. None too sure that this mere railroad man knew what he was talking about, the Captain made a discreet inquiry of his Chief Mate. Chief backed up Bob’s advice, the crew opened hold #1, and the Costigan, along with Bob’s temper, leveled out.

The tall, slender small-town boy from the Great Plains was seeing the world, and the travel was worth the frustrating obstacles he sometimes encountered. Each voyage was a new adventure as the Costigan shuttled supplies from Sydney or Melbourne to wherever the Allied troops had most recently advanced. After graduating from high school in 1941 Bob had gone to work for the Missouri-Pacific Railroad, following in his father’s footsteps. Months later the newspapers and radio stations began running recruiting ads for wartime service. The ads appealed to Bob, whose telegraph experience with the railroad made him an excellent candidate for marine radio work. On enlisting with the Merchant Marine, he traveled to New York to begin six months of training. All the newly recruited seamen went through basic training at Sheepshead Bay in Brooklyn, near Coney Island Amusement Park. During the week they learned basic maritime routines and emergency procedures, including what to do if the ship was attacked. On weekends Bob rounded out his education by embracing danger of a different sort – he got on the giant roller coaster at Coney Island. He and his buddies rode the coaster again and again, each plunge making him feel as if the bottom had dropped out of his stomach.

After six weeks of basic came specialized training. The radio operators went to radio school on Long Island and then to Coast Guard classes on Gallops Island in Boston Harbor. Bob and his classmates graduated with FCC Radio Operator Licenses. More significantly, they joined a brotherhood. They had earned the nickname “Sparks,” recalling the old original telegraph equipment that had used an electric arc to create the signal.

During the war, ships did not use voice radio at all. Operators transmitted in International Morse Code, using a single tone to create the short and long “dots” and “dashes” that made up each character. Instead of transmitting in plain English, however, the Merchant Marine used BAMS – the British Admiralty Merchants System – a cumbersome, multi-layered code. Besides telegraph equipment, a typewriter, pencils, and lots of paper, each operator had a code book of numbers and a “dictionary” containing thousands of numbered words and names.

The sender transmitted nothing but five-digit numbers, beginning with a key that told the receiver where in the code book to start from. The receiver first typed out the numbers as transmitted, then used the book to alter each transmitted number to a different one. Finally, he looked up the new numbers in the dictionary and typed up the words indicated by each. For example, the book might tell the operator to change the number 44936 to 67553, which might represent the word “fuel” or “Paris.” The code was secure if a bit tedious. No one listening in to the transmission could possibly understand anything from it, and Bob could decipher the economically-worded news bulletins and routine orders quickly enough.

* * * * *

Paper, carbon, paper . . . if Bob pounded the keys hard, the solid metal Underwood typewriter would give him six or seven readable copies. The last couple would be pretty blurred, but the guys wouldn’t care. Out at sea for weeks at a time supporting the Allied war effort, these men were mostly isolated from news about how it was going. They would be glad to get any information, whether from the Pacific Theater or Europe. Bob finished typing and pulled out the carbons. Original to the Captain, then down to the main deck.

“Say, Sparks, what’s the latest?” Someone rushed up to get a copy, and in a moment Bob was surrounded.

“Hey, I need to see one!” “I was here first!” “Keep your shirt on, you’ll get your turn!” Bob left them wrangling over the day’s updates and went to find something to eat.


All three parts are now posted: just click on the link below right to go to “Sparks” Part 2

Posted in Everybody Has a Story, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Grief… Encountered

Grief Anticipated, Part 5

This morning I rushed off to have my car serviced and forgot my phone. Drove an hour to get to North Dallas, mostly through torrential rain. The first fifteen minutes in the dealership waiting area, I fiddled with my laptop, trying to get connected to their wi-fi. I deleted some ads, then answered one business email and, as soon as I sent it, found a new message waiting. The hospice nurse, unable to reach me, had called Brent to tell him that my Dad had passed away. I sat stupefied, staring at the screen. In that minute, all my recent efforts to ensure Dad’s comfort, the worry and planning and errands and phone calling I had done, became hugely irrelevant. As pointless as an umbrella in a tsunami.

And yet…

And yet…

Even as Dad is beyond reach of my help, he is also beyond need of it. In Glory, he is more spry than ever (he has probably gone for a good long swim by this time). He remembers everything now. Last week he couldn’t remember he had cancer. Now that he does, it doesn’t matter any more. In fact, he remembers all the sadness and loss, but these he understands, from his new perspective.

Dad, in his late teens

Fresh out of high school


He cannot come back to me, but I will get to see him again. In the meantime, while I know there are tears to come, I also have things to do here. May I make good use of the time I have left.

Thanks for reading,
Jan

Posted in Grief Anticipated | 12 Comments

DFW to Sky Harbor

DFW to Sky Harbor
by Janice C. Johnson

Voices, noises, choices of drinks. Hurried attendants,
the insistent whine of jet engines and cranky toddlers.
A family starts their vacation, the kids oscillating with excitement.
A man checks sales figures on his laptop while a woman stows
her briefcase and sits, easing out of high heels.

Mountains folded in bold relief hold their thoughts to themselves.
They do not hear the noisy jet through the thick, downy silence
broken only by an occasional birdcall.
They don’t even look up. They are watching their shadows
cross the desert at a measured pace.

A backpack, brown hair, a Teddy bear. Unaware
of Mom’s kiss still faintly visible on her cheek,
this small island of bravery looks down at the mountains.
She envies the desert animals safe in their holes,
and fingers the badge hanging round her neck:
Daddy’s name.

Posted in The Poetic Side, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Getting Dis- “orientated”

When I launched this blog, I mentioned something about letting you eavesdrop as I puzzle over things. Well… this is one of those “things.”

Most of the time I use prefixes and suffixes without thinking about them. After all, these accessories add meaning to root words in ways that are fairly predictable. Well, as predictable as the English language gets. You know, “-s” makes a noun plural, “-ed” makes a verb past tense, and so on. But, as you might expect with English, exceptions abound. Even English majors can have trouble sifting out the root word from a multi-syllable word that seems to be made up of nothing but add-ons, sort of like Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree.

For instance, take the common noun “orientation,” well-known to college freshmen and their long-suffering parents. I ran across an online discussion between some grammar nerds (people much like me) about whether the verb it derives from is “orientate.” My eyes narrowed. I felt sure that “orientate” was not even a word – but I could not have told you why.

Intrigued, I decided to do a root word/suffix study. (Told you I was a grammar nerd!) For this highly delicate operation I got out a pencil and put together a chart of words that end the same way as “orientation,” tracing each one backward to the root. Here is the pedigree of a couple of samples…

Root Noun………Verb made from Root Noun……..Noun made from Verb
captive…………… captivate………………………………. captivation
origin……………… originate………………………………. origination

With these two examples, I saw that the verb comes from adding the suffix “-ate” to a root noun. These verbs refer to the act of making the thing referred to by the noun. “Captivate” means to “make a captive of,” specifically by capturing the attention. (Different from saying we “capture” someone, which means bodily taking the person prisoner.)

Each noun in the third column refers to the process or ability to do the Verb. We derive these nouns from the Verb by splicing “-ion” onto the suffix “-ate” so the new suffix is “-ation.” This noun is related to the Root noun but does not mean the same thing. “Captivation,” the noun derived from the verb “captivate,” refers to the ability or process of doing the captivating – not to the actual unfortunate “captive.” Here, obviously, you actually DO drop the “-tion” back to “-ate” to go from the longer noun to its verb.

So far, so good. But I found that with other “-ation” nouns, the verb is the Root word. These stand-alone verbs are NOT derived from nouns:

Root Verb…………………………..Noun made from Verb
imagine (NOT “imaginate”)…….. imagination
orient (NOT “orientate”)………… orientation

Because these nouns sound just like ‘captivation’ and ‘origination,’ it’s easy to assume you get back to the verb by just dropping the “-ation” back to “-ate.” But since the Root verb never had a suffix, doing so actually adds a non-existent “-ate” to the Root verb. In effect you are trying to form a verb by adding a suffix to a word that is already a verb. Instead, the way to get back to the Root verb is to drop the whole suffix “-ation.”

Are you dizzy yet? Disoriented, perhaps? Surprisingly, Dictionary.com does have a definition for “orientate” as a verb, but it dates from the 1840s and means the exact same thing as “orient,” so why use a word that is merely a longer form of itself? If any linguists out there can help me out, I’d appreciate the input. Meanwhile, this explanation is as near as I can figure.

Thanks for reading!
–Jan

Posted in Near As I Can Figure..., Uncategorized | 3 Comments

I Want My Car Back

I knew the roads were unpaved once you got in there. I had seen the photos from previous summers’ paintball scenario games: Brent and our two boys in the D-Day Adventure Park staging area, on the truck en route to the playing field, or hiking along a road toward the action. Just dirt tracks, some of them. This time Eric and his buddy would be driving up to Wyandotte, Oklahoma on their own, a day later than his dad and brother. I thought about Eric’s ground-hugging little sedan with its small trunk, and that stack of paintball gear they would need to take along. And here was my Honda CR-V standing proud and rugged in the garage, almost a foot of clearance under the chassis. It doesn’t know the meaning of the term “high-center.” Besides, its roomy cargo area, high enough to load and unload without fear of back strain, practically begged to be filled with guns, CO2 cylinders, boots and camo. Eric doesn’t much like driving it, but maybe he would be in Practical Mode today.

“Would you like to take my car to Oklahoma D-Day and leave yours here at home?” I ventured. It didn’t seem like any big deal at the time. I would be going to Houston and back while they were away, but surely I would be fine driving Greg’s Civic.

“Yeah, thanks. That would be great,” Eric replied, and that is how I came to get in touch with my inner teenager.

It all happened last summer, in 2009. The last of my warriors drove away for their annual D-Day reenactment game, leaving me all alone on the driveway. I waited until they were out of sight before I started doing the victory dance. Oops – I mean, I would be lonely, but would manage to get along somehow.

Greg’s Civic is one good-looking car. Dark blue, shiny, sporty – it’s cool, it runs perfectly, and he really likes it. I liked it too, until I was stuck driving 485 miles in it. All in one day.

At first it seemed like a fairly normal car, once I got used to the feeling that I was sitting inside a giant M&M and could barely peek out above the candy coating. Mighty low to the ground, a Civic. The hood seemed to stretch out several yards in front of me, and I was sure the doors on both sides were hanging over the edges of my lane. The next day I made it out to the grocery store, and later the hobby shop, getting back home safely each time. By Saturday morning, I felt like a pro and was ready to drive the Youthmobile to my sister-in-law’s home near Houston.

But first, a quick stop in College Station to pick up my then-future daughter-in-law. My legs felt a bit stiff when I got out of the car there, but a short walk around worked out most of the kinks. After collecting Heather, I continued south. My Capri pants that had looked so cute that morning seemed to be getting tighter all the time, but our pleasant chatter helped keep my mind off it as we drove to Jennifer’s.

I have never been so glad to see someone’s house in my life. Stupid sports car. I crept up to the front door as if I were at least 80. We had a lovely time together, all the family girls, fixing little favors for Heather and Eric’s wedding. I stalled as long as possible, but eventually we had to get back into that blue contraption and head north again. By the time we made Hempstead, the formerly-cute Capri pants had formed a tourniquet around each thigh and my tailbone was going numb.

College Station at last. Even though it was a bit early, I positively insisted on taking Heather out to dinner. Our meal took a while to arrive, but not long enough. The Civic lurked in the parking lot the whole time, a sinister gleam in its headlights.

All too soon I had bid Heather a fond farewell, and was back in the Civic’s diabolical clutches. Highway 6 seemed to get longer and longer, the Dallas Metroplex receding into the distance with every endless mile. I made one unnecessary stop for gas, and another very necessary stop for coffee. Even so, my legs kept getting stiffer and my spine took on a bucket-seat curve that could not possibly be healthy. But, finally—home! I didn’t so much get out of that iron maiden that calls itself a car; it was more like taking it off.

Normally when Brent calls from Oklahoma D-Day I ask how the games are going, whether they took any painful hits, did they have enough paint, where did they have dinner, and so forth. But not this time. All I could say between my clenched teeth was:

“I. Want. My. Car. Back.”

Thanks for reading!
–Jan

Posted in I Remember When... (my OWN stories), Uncategorized | 12 Comments

Song in the Night

Grief Anticipated, Part 4

Dear Dad,

When I was a young girl, you were the one I took my little heartbreaks to. Looking back, I doubt that you had a clue as to what to do or say. It didn’t matter. I went to Mom with questions, problems and nightmares. But when I needed to cry, you were my parent of choice. Well, now my heart is breaking once again. But I can’t come lean on you – because you are the one I’m crying for.

The other day when we came to visit, I was appalled at how tiny and frail you had grown in just two weeks. In your own reality, you are still our hardworking provider. What did you think when it took two of us to help you stand up from your armchair and walk to the dinner table? I asked the caregiver for the chicken soup you wanted, thinking it might help with your cough.

And then, when I came back with the things you needed from the store, the soup sat uneaten in your room. Did you ever get any of it down? You wanted to reimburse me; I could see how frustrated you were at not having any money. All I said was, don’t worry, Mom took care of it. I winced even as I said it. How awful it must be for someone like you to feel totally dependent on others – no longer useful or necessary.

But you mustn’t feel that way, Dad. It is your hard work that is still, through your retirement income, paying the bills for you and Mom. And the start you gave me in life, bringing me up in a church where I could learn about God the Son, is still paying off as I practice going to Him with my tears. What I should have told you is: It’s okay to rest now.

In the future, when this tired world gives way to the new, permanent one, Jesus “will wipe every tear from [our] eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” But even now, He gives a song in the night.

All will be well.

(Quote is from Revelation 21:4)

Posted in Grief Anticipated | 4 Comments